Effects

Sometimes it is easy to rationalize breaking your integrity when ti doesn't affect anyone but yourself.  If it doesn't hurt anyone, then where's the harm.  The harm is in your honor.  You respect yourself less and less as you compromise your values and integrity.  Even if no one will know that you made the wrong choice, you will, and if you don't respect yourself, you're less likely to make the right decision.  This is an extremely damaging effect on your honor, and it's not worth it.

Proverbs

While reading in Proverbs, I cam across this verse:

"People who promise things they never give are like clouds and wind that bring no rain."

Prov. 25:14

I can imagine being a farmer in an arid area, and feeling excitement when feeling the wind carry dark clouds, and I can imagine that excitement turning to disappointment when those clouds bring nothing but shade.  When you break a promise, whether it's to yourself, or a friend, or teacher, or your boss, you disappoint everyone involved.  And you won't be able to trust yourself, and they won't be able to trust you, as easily as you/they used to.  You sai you could be trusted before, and you couldn't, so why should they trust you now?

Dumbledore

I was watching Harry Potter the other day, when Dumbledore said something that has stuck with me:

"Soon, we must all make the choice between what is right and what is easy."

I believe this to be true.  This is one of the surest tests of our integrity.  Choosing between right and easy, is hard, but it shouldn't be.  

Structural

The word "integrity" has different meanings based on what it's being applied to.  When talking about a building, structural integrity refers to how strong the building is.  A structure without integrity will easily collapse in a storm.  The same goes for us.  Without integrity, we can be easily blown around by the winds that life throws at us.  Having integrity gives a sturdy foundation upon which to stand.

Bring it Together

Integrity is made up of a lot of things.  When what you think, say, promise, and do all coincide, you have integrity.  These are the basic building blocks of integrity in it's simplest form.  Working towards this should be a goal that all of us have.  If we are stronger in one area than we are in another, then that's an area you should focus on , perfect, and then move on to the next.

Look Inside

More and more, I think that integrity is something that we have to look inside ourselves to find.  Sure, there are guidelines in the world that have been set up for us to follow, not to steal, not to lie, not to cheat, but I think that it's something that you have to decide for yourself.  There are instances, such as in my Dilemma post, where you may have to choose between two values, and arguably good values at that.  You have to decide what that right thing is, even if everyone else tells you that it's stupid amd wrong.  No one can decide but you.

Pop Culture

One thing I've noticed is that we tend to support fictional characters who have a code, despite the fact that they might not be the best role models.  On the one hand, we have Superman, who always does the right thing, and on the other we have Batman, a dark vigilante who plays by his own rules.  Superman is seen as boring, while Batman is more sexy.  The popularity of shows like Breaking Bad, or The Wire, or Dexter also supports this.  The characters in these shows are arguably horrible people, and would be villains in any other circumstance.  But since each of them as some kind of code, some level that they wouldn't stoop too, they're the character everyone roots for.  Take Robin Hood for example.  He's a thief, and there's no arguing around that, but he only steals from the rich, so that makes it okay.  Arguably, he's only stealing the money that was stolen away from the rich to begin with, but still, stealing is stealing.  Having a code in pop culture seems to guarantee that anything you do is ok, so long as you don't break your code.

Belief

Doing this assignment, I've been looking up a lot of quotes about integrity, one that I've found is from Alan Cohen:

"You are in integrity when the life you are living on the outside matches who you are on the inside."

I believe this to be true.  If you believe yourself to be a good person, but don't act like it, you don't truly have integrity.  You're lying to yourself, which is one of the worst things you can do.  If you thin you have integrity, then act like it.  Be the idealized form of yourself that you see inside of you, so that others can see it, too.

Moral Code

In an earlier post, I talked about the importance if having a moral code, and of having a physical copy of that code.  So today, i thought I'd share with you the values that I allow to govern my life.

Family:

Being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, I know that my family and I will be together forever.  And no matter how much we get on each other's nerves, they will always be there for me.  So when it comes to a choice of being with my family, or doing something else, I know which I'll choose.

Endurance:

I see life as an obstacle course.  It has a starting line and a finish line.  The whole point of it is to make it through.  To overcome.  There will always be a new obstacle to conquer.

Solitude:

As much as having a social life is important, sometimes I find it to me draining.  It feels like being on all of the time, being alone gives me the opportunity to reboot and recharge.  It also lets me build a better relationship with myself.  I build more confidence, because I know that I can be alone.  

Happiness:

Doing what makes you happy makes life much easier.  Surround yourself with people who make you happy.  It's refreshing.  Everyone deserves to be happy, an if something isn't making you happy, then it's time for a change.

Convictions:

Staying true to your convictions means sticking to your guns, and knowing what's right.Convictions help to define our actions, and give us the courage to stand up for what you believe is right.  

Knowing what I value most in life, helps me to make decisions.  I know what's important to me.

Respect

I truly believe that everyone wants to do the right thing.  I feel that this motivates most people.  Everyone wants to be able to go to sleep at night believing that they are a good person.  A good rule of thumb is not to do anything that makes you respect yourself less.  If you can;t look in the mirror and tell yourself that you're a good person without feeling like you're lying to yourself, then something needs to change.

Reward

I think a lot of times, people do things that are good for the wrong reasons.  We do it expecting to be rewarded.  We expect praise, prizes, recognition.  This I feel negates any good tat you did, because you did it for the wrong reason.  Training yourself to o the right thing without expecting any reward, in this world or the next, is a big step to having true integrity.

Dilemma

I was n a situation where I had to choose between betraying a friend's trust, an lying.  On the one hand, I could get in trouble for keeping my friend's trust, but on the other, I would be lying.  Honesty and friends are both things that I value highly.  And choosing between the two is something extremely difficult.  We always say things about integrity like just choose the right.  It's so simple just choose the right.  But it isn't always so.  Sometimes we have to choose between the things we value most.

Trust

I had a boss who asked me to do something a little extra from everyone else.  Normally I would begrudge the extra work, but I've come to realize that he asked more of me because he trusted me to get it done.  The extra work was a compliment.  He wouldn't have asked me to do something that he didn't think I would come through on.  When you show integrity, people trust you more.

Consistent

Having integrity means being consistent.  If you only do the right thing when it's convenient for you, is it really good?  Having integrity means doing the right thing, even when it's hard.  Especially when it's hard.  What's the point of it if you don't?

Lead

Talking about heroes made me think.  Being a hero means that someone is looking up to you.  That someone thinks that you are worth modeling.  I think that this is one of the greatest things that can happen to a person.  Having so much integrity that someone wants to follow your lead, that they think you are worth following, is amazing.  You are an example to someone.  Don't let them down!

Heroes

The more I think about it, the more I realize that more often than not, the people who have integrity are the people that we idolize as our heroes.  The people who make sacrifices for good, and stand incorruptible against the dark are the ones we look up to and model ourselves after.  They're the people we cheer for.  They're the ones who get movies made about them, and books written on them.  Having integrity makes you a hero.  Maybe not a famous one, but still a hero.  Even if you're only a hero to yourself.  Be your own hero.

Impossible

I think that sometimes we feel like always doing the right thing is impossible, so why bother.  And maybe sometimes it is.  But it's something we should strive for.  Everyone wants to be a good person (usually).  It's all a matter of how hard you're willing to work for it.  Heavenly Father gave us free will, which means that we're tempted and often choose to not do the right thing.  But we can also choose to have integrity.  I think that making that choice, especially when it's hard, makes that small victory all the sweeter.

You Gotta Want It

I think integrity starts with the desire to do good.  Integrity isn't just doing the right thing, it's wanting to do the right thing.  Integrity starts within, and it won't happen unless you want it to happen.

Why?

Talking about integrity makes it sound like the most amazing thing that everyone should aspire to have an to hold onto.  So why do we so often break it?  I talked in an earlier post about the fact that a lot of times it starts with a small steps, but how can we rationalize them?  A lot of times, people will weigh the perceived benefits of breaking our integrity as being higher than the cost of it.  I found a quote from Dr. Dan Ariely, who did a study on cheating and why people do it, that I feel sums this up nicely:

"How can we secure the benefits of cheating and at the same time still view ourselves as honest, wonderful people?  

This is where our amazing cognitive flexibility comes into play.  Thanks to this human skill, as long as we cheat by only a little bit, we can benefit from cheating, and still view ourselves as marvelous human beings.  This balancing act is the process of rationalization..."

Groups

There's a stereotype for working in groups that there's one person who does all of the work, while the rest of the group loafs around.  DON NOT BE THOSE PEOPLE.  You've mad a commitment to your team that you would be there for them, and they expect you to follow through.  Allowing one person to do all of the work is like putting your name on someone else's artwork.  You're taking credit for something that you didn't do.  When you do this, not only are you going back on a promise, you're essentially lying.  You don't deserve credit for work you didn't do.

Work

I work as a lifeguard, and crowding a bunch of young people into a small room for hours on end is a recipe for goofing off.  And that's all well and good, but you're being paid for six hours of work, and you need to put in those six hours.  If there's something you can do, do it, despite the fact that your boss hasn't asked you to do it.  This kind of behavior has it's benefits, besides the obvious moral ones.  Doing things preemptively that your boss hasn't specifically asked you to do yet can attract goo attention from the people you work for, and this opes the door for possible benefits down the way.  Not that this is the only reason that you should work hard, but it is a nice reward for doing your best.

Integrity With Yourself

I have a friend who acts like a completely different person around a guy that she likes.  One of the big first steps in developing integrity is being true with yourself.  How can you expect to be able to be honest with other people, if you can't be honest with yourself?  You have to be who are, and say what you mean.  Being the best version of yourself brings peace of mind, and attracts other people around you to do the same thing.

Accountability

While reading in my scriptures, I came across some verses that talked about choice and accountability.  When it gets down to it, we are accountable for how our lives turn out.  I've realized that owning up to the fact that no one makes our decisions for us is at the core of integrity.  I am responsible for my own failures, and my own victories.  If I choose to compromise my integrity, that's on me.  No one forced me to do that.  If I choose to keep to my values and morals, then that is also on me, but it feels so much better, and it makes my victories that much greater.

Ends and Means

I was thinking about my last two posts, and came up with the thought that one of the ways that people start off on that slippery slope is that they believe that the ends justify the means.  When you watch a film, especially monster movies, or disaster flicks, a lot of times the characters have to make tough choices.  A lot of the villains in apocalyptic movies didn't start off as horrible people, they had to make hard choices, and chose poorly.  In the film Mad Max, in order to keep the peace in their society, the leader institutes an event called Thunderdome, where two contestants battle it out to the death in a gladiatorial arena.  The leader believes that this is the only way to prevent the violence and war that had ruined the world in the first place.  The Thunderdome is a horrible means, but they justify it with the fact that there's no fighting in their society.  In our lives we have to make tough choices, and it's up to us to decide what we can live with.  We shouldn;t allow ourselves to rationalize poor decisions by justifying them with ends.  How you got to the end is just as important as by what means you get there.  Like most things, its all about the journey.

Slide

The more I think about it, the more I realize that people don't just wake up one day and decide to be awful people.  It starts with little things.  A lie here, a going back on a promise there.  All of these things lead to destroying your integrity.  Continuously compromising is a slippery slope that starts with small steps. If you don't compromise on the little things, you won't compromise on the big things.  You have to always be alert and watching yourself.  To quote Mad Eye Moody, "Constant vigilance!"

Rationalize

I've noticed that when I have to make a hard decision that may compromise my integrity, I tend to rationalize making the wrong choice.  It's easier to make the wrong decision.  No one will know.  I deserve to take the easy way out.  Justifying your bad decisions with rationalizations makes it easier to sleep at night and temporarily takes a weight off of your conscience.  However, when you compromise your integrity by following through with those rationalizations, You'll find that you're selling out your values for something that's worth pennies.

Decide Now

Choosing to live with integrity now rather than in the moment makes making the right decisions later in life easier.  If you already know what you're going to do before it happens, it's not even really a choice.  You don't feel as much pressure to choose the right thing to do because you've already decided what you're going to do.  Having that knowledge gives you the confidence to carry yourself through all of the sticky situations life puts you in.  For instance, I know that if I ever have to choose between plagiarizing a paper, or putting in my own effort, I know that I'll choose to write the paper myself.

Easier

Having integrity is just easier.  It might not seem like it at first.  Sometimes in the moment, lying, cheating, or other bad decisions can seem like the path of least resistance in the short run.  However, unethical decisions will weigh on you long after.  There's no real happiness to be had as you struggle to remember what lies you told to who, living in fear that you'll be caught, and having the feeling that you don't deserve whatever it was that you gained from you poor decision.  It's an empty and stressful existence.  Living a life of integrity let's you rest easy, proud of the way you've lived your life.

Whole

While trying to think of a new post, I started looking up the definition of integrity.  While doing that I came across its root-words.  Integrity shares its roots with words like "entire" and "integrate".  In Spanish it's written as "integro", which means "whole".  Based on this, having integrity implies being whole, complete, and undivided.  When you have integrity, you feel at piece.  You're not torn up with guilt about a choice that you've made.  You're one with yourself.  You feel whole.

You'd Never Know

I'm doing this blog as part of an assignment for a class.  At first, I was worried that I wouldn't be able to come up with enough posts.  And then I thought, "well, even if I can't come up with anything, I can always make something up."

...

I decided that this, perhaps, isn't the class for that.

Integrity with Yourself

Integrity is more than just being honest and true to everyone else around you.  It's being true to yourself, and honoring your values.  Give yourself a moral code.  What values are important to you?  Select your values carefully, and know that when it comes down to it you will stick to those values.  Don't compromise your values, and your convictions.Sometimes having a written code makes it easier to follow.  You have a physical copy you can go to and look over, and promise yourself to follow.  And part of integrity is keeping your promises.

Sunday

I almost skipped church today.  It wasn't really my fault though.  I overslept, and woke up an hour after church had started.  No one would have noticed if I didn't go, and the pillows and blankets were serenading me to return the Dream Land.  I'd already missed the sacrament portion of the meeting, and that was the most important part of the meeting so why bother?  But my brain stubbornly started coming up with ways that I could still get the sacrament.  So I flopped out of bed, got dressed, and wandered  sleuthed around on campus until I found some people who looked like they were going to church, tailed them to their meeting, and sat in the back of the room hoping no one saw me infiltrated their ranks.  This was as close I would ever come to being a spy, and my only chance to use my specific set of skills.  It was exhilarating.

How Do I Get Integrity?

 Some ways to build your own moral code of itegrity are to examine the parts of your behavior that you want to change, think about the reasons why you wouldn't be following your moral code, and then think of ways to overcome them.  Is there anything that people around you complain about?  You can make a list of all the ways you can change.

What is Integrity Anyway?

To me, integrity is living your life in a way that follows moral principles.  Integrity is a combination of morals, honesty, and ethics.  Developing personal integrity is developing your own moral code.

Group Work

Today, I was supposed to meet with a group for one of my classes to work on a project that we have been working on all semester.  But here's the thing.

I didn't want to.  I really, really didn't want to.

I've been having a hard time of it lately.  The pressures of school, finances, and other things that college students have to deal with have been weighing heavily on me for the past week.  And I presented several arguments to myself (fairly convincing ones I thought) for why I didn't need to go, shouldn't go, couldn't go to meet with my group.  I've had a cough for two weeks, I need to stay home an rest.  My group was meeting all the way across campus, I didn't want to walk all that way.  It's too cold outside.  You're from Florida.  Forty degrees is suicide.  No one could survive such conditions, any sane person would have had all classes canceled.    Did my group really need my input at this point anyway?

See, I thought all of these were sound, convincing, and solid arguments.  So imagine my surprise when I actually got up out of bed, and went to go meet with my group.

I know this doesn't sound like much, but being the socially uncomfortable introvert that I am, and having the weight of a lot of pressures come crashing down on me at once made this a small victory.  I made a promise to my group, and I committed to it.

There's a saying my mom has, "I can do hard things".  I think that maybe, that's what integrity is.